Anyhow. Lazy day since I was focused on the new tutu and shirt. I made a roast on the stovetop. Cast iron (ceramic glazed) dutch oven, of course. I have no idea what cut of meat. I could care less. It really doesn't matter to me. I got a 2-for-1 deal at the grocery store, so one went in the pot and one went in the freezer. It's all in the sauce anyhow. I made homemade mashed potatoes to go with the gravy, and steamed some green beans. Sourdough rolls, and voila!
Here's the million dollar recipe folks... it's the bomb!
Whiney Java Roast
- 3-6 pound roast, any cut (boneless)
- 1 cup flour, salt/pepper/dried thyme
- 4 cloves garlic -- peeled and chopped
- 2 large onions, roughly chopped
- 3 Tbsp olive oil
- 1 1/2 cups good quality red wine (I like Shiraz)
- 1 large can V-8® vegetable juice
- 10 oz very strong black coffee
1 cup beef stock
- 1 large bunch fresh thyme, removed from stalks
- 2 bay leaves
- salt and freshly ground black pepper
6 T butter
- 6 T flour
- 1 cup heavy cream
Heat dutch oven on stovetop with olive oil. Mix flour, salt/pepper/dried thyme in shallow dish on countertop.
- Unwrap roast and stare at it in dismay. HOLY CRAP that's a lotta beef! Unless you're a vegetarian, deal with it. Grab it with your hands and coat in in the flour mixture. If you don't feel like making a mess, use a leftover produce bag from the grocery store to put the flour mixture in... throw in the beef, and wallop one of your whiney kids with it.
- Brown the roast on all sides. Add onion and garlic to pan if you can see after chopping those monster onions. I had mascara all over my sleeves. Cook for about 5-10 minutes, but DO NOT LET GARLIC BROWN.
- Take that bitch of a roast out carefully. Whine to your husband that you're not strong enough and let him burn himself with the scalding oil. Set in on the cutting board that I know you haven't cleaned up yet.
- Pour in the red wine. Scrape up all the brown bits off the bottom. Reduce by half. Drink a glass of the Shiraz. It's good.
- Add the V8, Coffee, and stock. Whine to your husband again about the "heavy roast" and get it back in there somehow. Add the bay leaves.
- Get that sucker boiling, reduce it to low immediately and cover it.
- Drink some more wine and ignore that roast for a few hours. At least 3. You can move it to a crock pot if you want and run away to the nearest mall too.
- If you must, you can put vegetables in your roast, but that's gross. Put them in the oven where they belong. Don't screw up my gravy.
- When you're ready to eat, set the roast on a carving board and let it rest for 15 min.
- Pour the liquids into a large bowl with a pouring spout.
- Throw the butter into the dutch oven. Yell at someone to throw the rolls in the oven because you're busy. When the butter is melted, add the flour. Whisk for two minutes or more if you feel special.
- Add the liquids back in. When it thickens, add the cream. Bring to a boil, reduce to low-med, and simmer for five minutes or so. Voila. If you want it thicker... use more fat/flour dummy!
- I like to slice my roast (if it doesn't just fall apart) and add it back to the gravy. If anyone whines... thump 'em.








