Hot Cocoa and Marshmallows..........

This year we decided to make homemade hot cocoa mix and homemade marshmallows to give as gifts to our family and friends.  These marshmallows were rolled in peppermint dust (3 packages of candy canes to 1 cup of sugar in a food processor).

The hot cocoa mix is our own concoction... a best kept secret.  But here's our recipe for our marshmallows!

Homemade Marshmallows

3 envelopes unflavored gelatin
1/2 cup water
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2 cups sugar
1/2 cup water
1 cup light corn syrup
1/8 tsp salt
1 tsp clear vanilla extract

In bowl of Kitchenaid Mixer, sprinkle gelatin over water to dissolve.  Let sit.

Line a 13x9 inch pan with foil.  Spray with Pam.  Set aside.

In large, heavy saucepan, compine sugar, corn syrup, salt, and water.  Bring to a boil, stirring constantly.  Cook without stirring again, until a candy thermometer reaches 240 degrees.  Remove from heat immediately and gradually add to gelatin with mixer on low speed.

Beat on high speed until mixture is thick and volume is doubled, about 15 minutes.  Beat in vanilla (or other desired extract).  Pour into prepared pan quickly.  Cover and let stand at room temperature overnight. 

Using foil, lift marshmallow out of pan.  Using large smooth knife coated with Pam, cut into 1-inch squares.  Dip marshmallows into toppings as desired.  Store in airtight container in cool, dry place.

You may use any extract flavor you wish, keep in mind some are much stronger than others (such as almond and mint).  You may also roll them in nuts, candy sprinkles, cocoa, or even dip them in ganache or caramel if you wish and then roll them in an assortment of yummy treats!  A favorite of ours is to skewer them with fruit in the summer  - we add a bit of banana extract, drizzle them with homemade caramel, then roll them in toasted coconut before  adding them to the fruit skewers!

Old Familiar Things

Oh, the joys of Christmas.

Once again, my husband isn't around for Christmas this year. Seems to be a trend with me. My ex-husband was in the military and always missed every holiday and birthday, this husband... well, it's just a different story that I'm not so ready to get in to yet.

So Lexi spent her first Christmas without her Daddy. No big deal, I suppose. She won't remember it, right? Except for the fact that he's not there in any of the pictures. And yet again this year.

Christmas Eve was spent with my parents, dinner at their home. Christmas Eve was supposed to be between Lexi and her Daddy, but plans went awry... if that's what you can call it. Anyhow, we came home, he wasn't there, and she went to bed. She was irritable, stressed out, and didn't sleep well.

For the poor baby who usually sleeps until nine in the morning, she was awakened at seven by her father. She got to open gifts - which was a new experience for her. Gifts were coming from every direction, she had no clue what to do with them, and was completely overwhelmed. There was no time to play with anything or explore anything - as her father had to leave by eight o'clock to get to work. It was a strange, harried morning, and she no doubt felt the stress.

She is now climbing out of the crib and chasing me down the hallway, refusing to let me out of her sight. She cries when her big sister leaves the house. She doesn't want to take naps (this coming from the child who takes three hour naps every day). She clung to her Daddy when he came by the house last week to pick up some clothes, but was strangely silent and calm.

She has yet to play with a single present. She shoves them aside repeatedly, preferring to hand me her tattered favorite books over and over again. She looks for the old familiar things in a time where she doesn't quite know what is going on and what to expect. She clings to what she knows and holds on tight.

Crazy Night Shift in AZ

Insomnia

How many of us suffer from this? I mean truly SUFFER?

This has been something that has taken away a little piece of me every day for the last decade of my life. It has stolen a small portion of my life - it eats away at me, taunting me like a mean girl in junior high. It pretends to be your friend... then suddenly destroys you.

When the sun goes down, my internal clock gets all goofy. I no longer feel tired. I am wide awake. I can't relax and wind down. Getting into bed feels alien and wrong. I've tried everything. Exercising, not exercising, hot showers, warm milk, eating, not eating, medication, walks, you name it... nothing works. The more I try, the more stressed out I get about not sleeping. Unless I really think about it, I really am not stressed out! My stress lies in other areas of my life that I won't discuss. Probably adds to the insomnia, but the insomnia has been there long before those other issues have. Hence the "nonsomnus" name.

I rarely close my eyes, or even lay down before 4am. Makes for a really long day when Lexi gets up by 8am. It's ok though, really. What I hate though is the unwanted advice. "You should just get some sleep." Um... really? That would be GREAT! Because if 50mg of Benadryl and a Trazodone can't do it, I'm sure I'm not going to be able to "just do it on my own". Sheesh. Another favorite is, "You know napping during the day is going to wreak havoc on your sleep schedule." This coming from someone who knows that no matter whether I nap or not, I will not sleep at night. Resting when Lexi takes a nap makes me feel a bit better. I can sleep during the day like a CHAMP.

God I miss working night shift. It was the only time in my life when I actually got 6-8 hours of sleep a "night". I love sleeping during the day. Why oh why is my sleep cycle permanently screwed up???

Speaking of night shift, I think I'll post a pic or two of how crazy we were on night shift. What a bunch of whack-a-doos. Working in an ER overnight brings out the best in people. Gaining a "stripper name" and piercing my bellybutton have to be some of my favorite memories. Lost the belly-ring, but kept the Roxy. Love you crazy people.

Here's my favorite conversation ever from the ER...

Charge RN: "What's your patient doing?" (pointing to video monitor of psych room)
Me: "I dunno. Why"
Charge RN: "I think he's eating belly button lint."
Me: "gross."
Charge RN: "Can you chew belly button lint?"
Me: "I don't think so."
skip boring part of story, end up in patient room
Charge RN: "Did you bring contraband in this ER in your fat rolls?"
Patient: "Yes, I put all my pills there."
Charge RN: "Spit them out this instant."
Patient: "Don't hit me! I'm a cripple!"
Charge RN: "I'm not going to, and that's not politically correct, you're handicapped."
LMFAO.... I love my job.

I believe this same charge nurse also broke her toe playing hackey sack on a break that night, but still managed to go out for our routine Bloody Marys with us at 7am! LOL.

Big Sisters and Little Brothers

I'm the older sibling of two. You know how that game goes, right? I'm older than my adoring brother by almost five years. I'm pretty sure I thought life was perfect before HE came along, but I adjusted... I think! Anyhow, I spent the majority of fourteen years torturing him since he was a major pain-in-my-ass.

He was cute enough until he was about eight I suppose. Maybe a little bit younger. However old he was when he and Jenny Pott's brother started eating my Bonnie Bell flavored chapsticks. I mean... seriously! I had to walk all the way downtown to Lehan Drugs to buy those! I had Dr. Pepper, Orange Crush, and Hubba Bubba flavors and that little twerp ATE THEM! After he decided to feast on my second set, I decided he must be taught a lesson. I covered my floor with thumbtacks. Fair, right? I mean... I warned him not to go in my room. My mother obviously didn't agree that it was the "CORRECT" thing to do, as she had to pull tacks out of his feet and knees, but whatever.

Perhaps there was the time I locked him in the newly built shed and thew away the key for spitting on my skateboard. We could talk about his fear of thunderstorms and how my friends and I would climb the tree outside his window when there were cloudy skies and rattle cookie sheets and scream like possessed demons. Whatever.

Then there was the time that he always talks about. He tells everyone I kicked his teeth out with my ice skates. I did not. Yes, his teeth fell out. Yes, I had skates on. The story goes like this... I believe Julie Fleetwood, Jill Marrett, and Caitlin Hathaway were in the Volkswagon Rabbit with me (and my little brother) getting ready to go ice skating at the lagoon. We were talking about which boys we loved (6th grade) and who we wanted to kiss. My brother immediately piped in with "I'm telling MOM!". He happened to be in the front seat, facing the back seat, sitting on his knees. I had my ice skates on. I kicked the seat and threatened his life. The seat was not locked in place, flew forward, and his teeth went flying - along with what seemed like a bucket of blood. My mom flew out of the back door with a stream of obscenities, my friends scattered like rats in a rainstorm, and I never went to the lagoon.

So, the rest of our life kind of follows suit. He may be 6'3 and a grown up with a wife and two kids, but he's still my annoying little brother. He loves to say things just to irritate me. He always has to say the last word. He's still a hypochondriac who is afraid of thunderstorms (my fault - I know!). I still have to be right, tell him he's wrong, and have the last LAST word. I have to argue with him even when it's not worth it, and make an ass of him in public. It's a sibling thing.

He got his wisdom teeth out today. He's been worried about it for weeks and weeks. Worried about complications and the pain. I've made fun of him throughout his worries of course. I threatened him and told him that I'd show up with a video camera to make fun of him and post it on facebook. I told him we'd all laugh at him when he was coming out of anesthesia and making no sense. I told him we had planned on making party hats and putting them on him and making him look like a total ass. He was so worried, that he told his wife not to let me know when the surgery was.

Truth is, I was worried about him yesterday - I remember how nervous I was about mine coming out. Tori just had hers out recently and it was awful. I know how miserable he must be today and I never really would have done anything mean... but I couldn't let him know that, right??? I just hope he listened to his big sister for once and is taking some pain medication. If not, I hope his poor wife is taking it instead so she doesn't have to listen to him! LOL...

So... on to food conversation... since HE can't eat!

Lunch was linguine pasta with shrimp, roasted red peppers, and a garlic/lemon white wine sauce, salad, and garlic bread. We were all home today, so it was a big lunch.

Dinner is about done. Chicken breasts with a creamy mushroom and wine sauce, basmati rice (it tasted really good yesterday and is soooo good with this sauce), and green beans with cranberries.


I'm off to pour a nice glass of Riesling... or at least find a tall straw.

First Blog

Wow, what a day. We woke up to find a foot of very wet snow covering the farm. Of course I had kept the kids up late the night before building a ridiculously large snowman in the front yard, so we had enjoyed the bounty of white stuff already, but Mother Nature had decided to let it sleet all night after giving us such a beautiful head start. Our poor Frosty was all lopsided this morning from the downpour, so we filled an empty bottle of Jack Daniels with Iced Tea and set it beside his galoshes.

The weather decided to keep all of us in though. I had been up since 3am with heartburn thanks to some tasty leftover enchiladas, so I decided to go out at 5am to try to move the cars out of the way so our neighbor could plow our driveway with the tractors. BAD IDEA.

As I artfully tried to manuever the SUV backwards around the curved driveway, I misjudged where the driveway (and the curve) was and ended up in the front yard. After several tries, throwing the car back and forth from reverse-into-drive, and littering my front windshield with grass (how did it get there?), I decided to quit.

I walked back to Tori's Acura and decided that pulling it uphill 30 yards couldn't be that damn difficult. Well, I think I'm an idiot. Step one - remove dog from driveway. Eager Labrador Retriever in path of car makes for a difficult time. So after same back-forth motion of ten minutes, I finally get car moving uphill just to find one yellow dog laughing at me while I slam on my brakes and slide back down the hill.

I see that I have made quite a path, so I try again. I back up a bit, get a running start, and make it all but 10 feet from the top - where I very gracefully manage to twirl the car sideways and land in a snowbank that used to be my flowerbed near the unattached garage. Perfect. Now I really quit. I decide to call both schools and tell them the kids have pinkeye.

I'm totally excited about the prospect of spending the day with all three kids at home. The kids both have projects that I can help out with and Lexi loves having everyone home. After breakfast, three episodes of eldest daughter accusing son of passing gas on purpose, youngest daughter drawing on both projects, son hitting older daughter's elbow while drawing for project, and Christmas music playing entirely too loud - I'm ready for a nap. I ask the older children to watch the baby while I take a shower. Unfortunately the baby hears me say this, runs down the hallway shrieking while ripping all her clothing off (including her diaper), and hauls ass up the stairs before I can get there. Once again, I share my shower with a three-foot tall monster who squirts all the shave cream on my feet and says "pretty mama!"

Somehow we all survive the day and get through lunch and school projects, and I really do come down with pinkeye. That's what I get for lying to the school.

DINNER!
*Asian Salmon
*Basmati Rice
*Sweet & Sour Cucumbers
*Buttermilk Chocolate Cake Bars

Since I couldn't get out to shop, I raided the freezer. I had salmon in the freezer, so that's what we had! I threw together an asian-inspired sauce (ingredients will follow). I never measure when it comes to stuff like this, so don't ask.
Sauce:
*Soy Sauce
*Rice Wine Vinegar
*Water
*Sugar
*Brown Sugar
*Ginger
*Chinese Five Spice Powder
*Sesame Oil
*Green Onions
*Garlic
I just throw it all together until it tastes right, simmer - then thicken with cornstarch. Spoon over salmon, bake 15 minutes at 350.

For the basmati rice, I use a rice cooker that a wonderful Korean neighbor gave me as a gift years ago. It is indispensible. I rinse the starch off the rice first, then use one part rice to two parts water or chicken broth. I also add 2 T butter. I throw in chopped scallions when cooking asian foods. The recipe is the same for stovetop, you just have to bring the liquid to a boil, add the rice, then simmer on low for whatever time it says on the package.

For my cukes, I buy two large seedless cukes, slice them VERY thinly, slice onion or green onion very thinly as well, and place in a large bowl. I bring some rice vinegar to a boil, remove from heat, add sugar to taste, add a pinch of salt, and pour over cucumbers to wilt. Put in fridge until ready to serve, pour off liquid and serve. Totally yummy and cuts the sweetness of the salmon.

Buttermilk Chocolate Cake Bars

(cake)

2 C flour

2 C sugar

1 C water

1 stick butter - softened

1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (also good if you add 1 tsp cinnamon here)
2 eggs
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp kosher salt

(frosting)
1/2 C heavy cream or 1/2 & 1/2 (milk will work fine)
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 T butter - softened
3 C powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla

1. Preheat oven to 350
2. Grease/flour bar pan
3. Combine flour and sugar in bowl, set aside.
4. Heat water, butter, and cocoa powder in saucepan over medium heat on stove. Bring to boil, whisk occasionally. Remove from heat
5. Whisk in flour mixture.
6. Whisk in eggs, buttermilk, baking soda, vannila, and salt. Mix well. Pour into pan.
7. Bake 22-25 minutes or until toothpick inserted into center comes out clean. Remove to cooling rack. Cool 10 minutes before frosting. Do not cool any longer though!
8. For frosting, place milk, cocoa powder, and butter in saucepan, whisk until melted and smooth. Add powdered sugar and vanilla. Whisk until smooth. Spread over warm cake using offset spatula. Cool completely.

Cut into squares, Store in refrigerator.