Insomnia

How many of us suffer from this? I mean truly SUFFER?

This has been something that has taken away a little piece of me every day for the last decade of my life. It has stolen a small portion of my life - it eats away at me, taunting me like a mean girl in junior high. It pretends to be your friend... then suddenly destroys you.

When the sun goes down, my internal clock gets all goofy. I no longer feel tired. I am wide awake. I can't relax and wind down. Getting into bed feels alien and wrong. I've tried everything. Exercising, not exercising, hot showers, warm milk, eating, not eating, medication, walks, you name it... nothing works. The more I try, the more stressed out I get about not sleeping. Unless I really think about it, I really am not stressed out! My stress lies in other areas of my life that I won't discuss. Probably adds to the insomnia, but the insomnia has been there long before those other issues have. Hence the "nonsomnus" name.

I rarely close my eyes, or even lay down before 4am. Makes for a really long day when Lexi gets up by 8am. It's ok though, really. What I hate though is the unwanted advice. "You should just get some sleep." Um... really? That would be GREAT! Because if 50mg of Benadryl and a Trazodone can't do it, I'm sure I'm not going to be able to "just do it on my own". Sheesh. Another favorite is, "You know napping during the day is going to wreak havoc on your sleep schedule." This coming from someone who knows that no matter whether I nap or not, I will not sleep at night. Resting when Lexi takes a nap makes me feel a bit better. I can sleep during the day like a CHAMP.

God I miss working night shift. It was the only time in my life when I actually got 6-8 hours of sleep a "night". I love sleeping during the day. Why oh why is my sleep cycle permanently screwed up???

Speaking of night shift, I think I'll post a pic or two of how crazy we were on night shift. What a bunch of whack-a-doos. Working in an ER overnight brings out the best in people. Gaining a "stripper name" and piercing my bellybutton have to be some of my favorite memories. Lost the belly-ring, but kept the Roxy. Love you crazy people.

Here's my favorite conversation ever from the ER...

Charge RN: "What's your patient doing?" (pointing to video monitor of psych room)
Me: "I dunno. Why"
Charge RN: "I think he's eating belly button lint."
Me: "gross."
Charge RN: "Can you chew belly button lint?"
Me: "I don't think so."
skip boring part of story, end up in patient room
Charge RN: "Did you bring contraband in this ER in your fat rolls?"
Patient: "Yes, I put all my pills there."
Charge RN: "Spit them out this instant."
Patient: "Don't hit me! I'm a cripple!"
Charge RN: "I'm not going to, and that's not politically correct, you're handicapped."
LMFAO.... I love my job.

I believe this same charge nurse also broke her toe playing hackey sack on a break that night, but still managed to go out for our routine Bloody Marys with us at 7am! LOL.